Accepting our limitations is one of the most challenging and transformative acts we can undertake. In a world that glorifies control and perfection, the idea of embracing our weaknesses might seem counterintuitive, even disheartening. After all, haven’t we been taught to fight against problems and overcome them at any cost? Yet, it is precisely in this paradox that the power of acceptance lies. When we stop resisting and accept reality as it is, we create space for genuine and lasting change.
Milton Erickson, the renowned hypnotherapist, deeply understood this paradox. He believed that resistance only reinforces what we wish to avoid, and that acceptance is not the end of a battle but the beginning of a transformation. Acceptance does not mean giving up; instead, it means finding strength in our vulnerabilities, redirecting the energy that was once trapped in the struggle into something truly creative and powerful.
Acceptance can become an essential tool for overcoming challenges. Below, you will find unique insights inspired by Erickson's teachings and practical strategies you can immediately apply to your everyday life.
Milton Erickson often said that the more we resist something, the more energy we give to it. It’s like trying to push against an immovable wall: the effort only exhausts us, while the wall remains unchanged. This is the paradox of resistance – by trying to control, we end up reinforcing the problem.
For example, many people face anxiety by trying to suppress it, as though ignoring or fighting the sensations could be the solution. Yet, resistance often intensifies anxiety. Erickson taught that accepting these emotions – allowing them to exist without judgment – is the first step to disarming them.
He shared the story of a patient who was terrified of public speaking. Instead of promising to eliminate the fear, Erickson suggested that the patient embrace the experience: “Feel the fear completely. Allow it to exist as you step onto the stage.” The patient discovered that by ceasing to resist, the fear lost much of its power. It was still present but no longer in control. Acceptance paved the way for courage.
When we accept what we cannot change, we often gain control over aspects that once seemed beyond our reach. Erickson believed that true power comes from working with reality rather than against it. This is the paradox of acceptance – by letting go of control, we find strength.
Think of it this way: imagine trying to keep a balloon submerged in a pool. The effort required is constant, and a single slip will send it floating to the surface. However, if you let go, the balloon naturally rises without resistance. Similarly, by releasing control, we often find clarity and freedom to act.
Erickson exemplified this in his therapeutic practices. He worked with patients who felt crushed by their physical or emotional limitations, such as a man who became paraplegic after an accident. Instead of encouraging denial or forced positivity, Erickson helped the patient accept his condition and explore new ways of living. That man went on to become a talented painter – a skill he might never have discovered without the perspective shift acceptance provided.
Acceptance is not resignation. It’s not crossing your arms and giving up on the situation. To accept is to face reality head-on, without trying to force it into a specific shape, and then act in alignment with that truth. It’s an active and courageous stance that requires vulnerability and honesty.
Here are some practical strategies inspired by Erickson for using acceptance as a tool for transformation:
The Japanese practice of kintsugi – in which broken ceramics are repaired with gold – beautifully illustrates the power of acceptance. Instead of hiding the cracks, they are transformed into something beautiful and unique. Similarly, our limitations, when embraced, can become part of a new narrative of strength and resilience.
Milton Erickson embodied this principle in an extraordinary way. Diagnosed with polio in his youth, he temporarily lost the ability to move. During this time, instead of lamenting his condition, he began observing people and communication patterns, eventually shaping his groundbreaking therapeutic approach. His limitation became the foundation of his genius.
Acceptance challenges our most basic instincts, but it is also one of the most transformative practices we can adopt. It doesn’t make us passive – it allows us to act with clarity and purpose, free from the weight of resistance.
So, ask yourself: What are you resisting today? What if, instead of fighting, you chose to accept? Perhaps, like Erickson’s patient or the man who became a painter, you will discover an unexpected path to transformation. After all, acceptance is the first step to transcendence.
